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happiness….happens? Do you wait for happiness to come to you…or are you one of those people that go out and search for it?

I’ve noticed lately that it’s little things that put a smile on my face – like letting someone into crazy shitballs traffic…or secretly listening to my kids conversations…or having a really really good oyster or a fantastic cup of coffee. (hell, even a crappy cup of coffee can make me smile with glee on certain days…I mean come’s COFFEE) I put myself out there on a daily basis with my art and prose. Because of this, as I’ve said often before, I think people relate passionately when something of mine strikes a cord within them. The most common emails and letters I get are from people jokingly saying ‘Get out of my head!!’. Due to the raw nature of things, I’m fairly confident that people feel a bond, a connection, and therefore, assume that they know me…at least just a little (if not a lot, like omg I think we’re sisters that were separated at birth and I’m coming to the town where you live and I’m going to stay on your couch…)

I have to say that I DO get some craziness…and my husband whom is also my office manager, tries to shelter me from many of the BAD ones. I’m happy to say that the good ones far outweigh the bad ones, and knowing that many of you take the time out of your insane busy daily schedules to write makes me INSANELY happy. To have a glimpse into your lives and know how I’ve contributed, even if just a little, is freakin awesome…and makes me happy…and all of the hard work and cursing that may go into a piece of art WORTH IT!

Sometimes…I get a letter that I’m not sure of…stops me in my tracks…and makes me reevaluate everything.

July 13, 2014

Dear Erin,

I debated whether to write this. You probably don’t want to hear my story. Then I remembered that I probably won’t even know if you read it or not so here goes….five years and 5 months ago, my son killed himself. The worst part, well, not the worst part, was not realizing he was so unhappy. then I went into a very dark place I couldn’t find my way out of Until I came across you! Your little girl in the boots for kicking ass made me laugh out loud. I thought I had forgotten how. Then there was the “restraint” tote bag. I got the calendar and your book and I cannot stop wanting more. I realize your humor (and language) is not for everybody. But it was EXACTLY what I needed. I hope you put out a calendar every year for the rest of my life. I believe I owe my sanity to you. Bet you’ve never been told that before, huh?
A big fan forever, x

This letter stopped me cold…and made me realize that HEY…I AM HAPPY! This is huge because I am bipolar….I am not ashamed to say it or talk about it. I’m on medication that I have to take everyday (I could very well go off a rant here about how frustrating knowing this is…but hey, put on your big girl panties and deal with it) and I wouldn’t be where I am today without it. I use humor (and always have) on a daily basis to deal with the litany of things that life throws my way everyday…no matter how trivial or not. This is my coping mechanism and how I’m able to deal with my life….to try to reach that level that I would assume most people want…to be happy! To know that I’m able to spread that around a little bit is huge…and I hope that something, ANYTHING…today makes you happy.

All my love, for realzies, E

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