i want you to be happy. really. slut.

Feeling happy: happy, glad, alive, pleased, content, satisfied, contented, cheerful, carefree, exuberant….

I find it interesting that one of the words listed as a synonym for ‘happy’ is alive. That’s all. just interesting. Anyway…happy medium, trigger-happy, happy-g0-lucky, happy camper, happy birthday, the happy event, many happy returns, as happy as a clam, a happy hunting ground, happy to do it…happy hour.

I find myself on a vacation of sorts this week, unexpectedly some time came up and I snuck away. When I sneak away I tend to NOT do work that isn’t MANDATORY. So, for those of you that got upset that I didn’t post LAST WEEK on ‘I want you to be happy’ day, I truly am sorry. I want you to be happy. really. slut.

I love you man.

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kahlua. nuff said.

I cannot even begin to describe the level of pissed my youngest was when he found that I was making Kahlua frosting for the chocolate cupcakes I baked.

I always forget about Kahlua. for good reason I guess…last time I drank it was in white Russians at the Dance All Night Girls Only party my girl Brandi hosted. Talk about bruises. sheesh. Anyhoo…when I saw that it was national Kahlua day I thought that cupcakes may be safest. (however, if you look at the pictures closely you can see how well THAT willpower lasted!)

The cake part I just made from a box. It’s the same damn stuff..i mean really. Time here people…things to do, places to be and all. The Kahlua frosting was easy – butter, confec sugar, Kahlua, instant coffee, coffee, vanilla…little salt. The actual recipe called for 1 tsp. of Kahlua. Um. WTF?  I bought a $22 bottle for 1 tsp? I think not. So…the measurements are all the same as on the artwork with the exception of 3/4 CUP of Kahlua. I just added more confectioners sugar to thicken it up. It’s a crapshoot, as the frosting can break and become too thin..in which case either add more butter, or refrigerate before serving. and don’t bitch to me about any of it because I was experimenting and drinking white Russians while beating and throwing crap in the mixer. so.

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this one time…at band camp….

I must admit, that when I made LAST YEARS 2013 calendar I was pretty pumped about writing something for ‘Tell A Fairy Tale Day”. Well. yeah. That didn’t happen. Sooo, I included it again on this year’s 2014 calendar with the firm belief that YES. I can do it!

Have you ever tried to write a fairy tale? There’s a million ways it could go. However, in discussing the topic on Saturday evening with my Bad Mommies gang it became clear to me that the REAL challenge would be to just tell a true tale that you would think was made up because of the nature of the incredulous things that actually happen to me…and most likely, you..on a daily basis.

The story I want to tell is one of deception and intrigue and has a mysterious stranger and a likeable, yet notorious, main character. It has fashion and drums and roller skates and sex and lies and innocent children. Come one come all! Welcome to the Big Top that is my life!

who am I kidding? Just the thought of telling that tale is exhausting. I think a nap is in order.

Happy Tell a Fairy Tale Day.

 

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japanese stocks jump…but other markets flounder

I was going to say something witty and informative about flounder…the fish..but today’s google brought me the above headline. so there you go.

I love to cook. I do. Here comes the however.

However, I’m really fucking lazy and just like everything else in my life, unless I have to be somewhere and bring something, unless I’m snowed in, unless I’ve been deprived of a kitchen for awhile…it really just doesn’t happen. I thought that putting that little bird on my erin smith art calendar (on sale today at a huge discount at www.erinsmithart.com  just sayin…) it would motivate me to be organized. To KNOW ahead of time that I’m supposed to bloog on a certain day, about food, or art, or whateverthehell. well. No such luck. Just like everything else in my life it turns out that it’s just one more thing I pull out of my…well. you get it.

So far this year my office manager has given me the ‘heads up’ on a day I’m supposed to post. Usually on that day. When I’m somewhere I shouldn’t be and nowhere near a keyboard and completely worthless as far as writing goes. HOWEVER, (yes, again)…I actually went out and purchased stuff to help you all recognize the fact that today is CRAB STUFFED FLOUNDER DAY!

stupidest day ever.

I looked at like 10 recipes and got a general feel for what was supposed to happen with this little endeavor…and then completely made up my own shit. So. If anyone is remotely interested in following a recipe, go Google something else and don’t waste your time here.

I hate green peppers but love asparagus…so that’s what I got. Also onion, a lemon, some parsley, garlic, crab, panko breadcrumbs, lump crab…and the flounder of course! Except….our little local market didn’t have flounder so I used cod. :)   happy crab stuffed cod day! Basically, open your champagne so you have a drink and assemble your ingredients. I did a small dice and sautéed the asparagus stalks with the onion and garlic. I then added this mixture in a bowl with the panko, crab, parsley, magic unicorn salt, lemon zest, and some vegenaise.  ah. what the fuck is vegenaise you may ask. I did too. I DETEST mayo. Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it…however, my husband is a hardcore vegan and has all of this weird shit in my refrigerator and this was in there and I figured it kind of looked like it would bind everything together. It’s whipped grape seed oil… so…yeah. That’s what I used. (www.veganstore.com for a visual)

Was going to roll up the crab mixture in the thin flounder fillets, but since I used Cod, it was a little thicker in the middle and I was able to cut lightly down the middle and sides and just stuff all that crap in there. I covered it and baked at like 450 (the numbers are worn off of my oven temp gauge so I don’t know how the hell hot it was…) until the fish looked flaky. I used some lemon juice, butter and some of my champagne to make a light sauce that I dumped over the top.

When all was said and done it was beautiful!

Unfortunately, since I had since finished the bottle of champagne and wasn’t hungry…my husband is vegan…and my kids won’t touch fish unless it’s fried….right after this pic was taken I tried a bite, deemed it wonderful…and the rest is in Tupperware in my frig. tonight? meh. cold fish? ick.

 

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Inspire your heart with art

When I turn left every morning out of my neighborhood and head to the studio there’s an electrical pole. What makes this pole different from the other hundreds of poles we all pass daily is that someone has taken a pallet, broken it apart, painted each board a different color, and written ‘make someone smile today’ across it…and reaffixed it to the pole. We have a very diligent sign ordinance and someone whose job it is to just remove neighborhood signs every week. This one has stayed.

There is a national movement, headed up by a lonely few, in towns across the world to spread the love and magic of art. I say a lonely few, only because it’s a time consuming distraction…those that do it are passionate about it…those that appreciate it are passionate about the artists that take the time to do it.  The feeling that I get when I stumble across an unforeseen and unexpected bit of art in my day can make all of the previous hours disappear and the day begin anew.

Some of my favorite examples:

Don’t forget the Friday upcycled found art movement: taking an ordinary piece of trash and making it fabulous and leaving it for someone to find…

And last but certainly not least…the easiest method to make someone’s day.

so…while you’re out there walking or driving around town, try putting down your phone and notice the little things going around that can make you smile!

 

 

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a new year…a new chance for chocolate

well. that was quick. Our winter trade show season started right after new years and plowed straight thru snowmageddon last week. I’m having a hard time with re-entry…so the fact that chocolate cake day came and went in a blink of an eye is quite distressing. I don’t give up quite so easily though. Check out this vintage ad…you know you’ve seen it!

I love the tag line ‘it’s digestible’. What more could you want??? For those that need a little more info:

“Cocoa is made from the dried, semi-fermented seeds of the cacao tree. The seeds are ground and roasted to make chocolate. The Mayans and Aztecs believed the beverage was of divine origin and drank it with extreme reverence. In fact, beans from the cacao tree were considered so valuable that the Mayans used them as money. Chocolate raises emotional energy and induces ecstatic feelings of love by stimulating the Heart Chakra. That belief is the origin of the custom of giving boxes of chocolates to women to win their favor. “

Well….whatever. In my quest to add vegetables to everything these days, I thought that perhaps a chocolate chunk zucchini bread would be appropriate? Better than kale…

OK:

  • 6 eggs
  • 4 c. sugar
  • 2 c. oil
  • 4-5 c. shredded zucchini
  • 6 c. flour
  • 2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 tsp. baking powder
  • 2 tsp. salt
  • cinnamon and vanilla to taste
  • 1 package chocolate chunks (or your favorite chocolate chopped to size)
  • optional to add your favorite nuts

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Beat together eggs, sugar and oil. Add zucchini and remaining ingredients, mixing well. Bake in 4 well greased loaf pans for about one hour. Plenty to share or freeze for a later time.

Have you ever made zucchini bread before?? It can be a real pain in the ass. The sugar content makes it a little tricky to bake..so, if your oven totally sucks…I’d hand this receipe off to a friend to make for you. just sayin.

p.s. YES. I am aware of the fact that this is indeed NOT chocolate cake. I don’t care.

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make.a.hat.day. wtf?

why? yes, why. I have no idea WHY. WHY does there need to be a ‘make a hat’ day? sigh.

However, in looking up paper (I don’t know why but I choose to stick with paper today…) I found some unbelievably amazingly COOL hats. If you actually end up making one of these (um, yeah…no instructions included..good luck) please take a pic and share with us!

These are from Chanel runway in 2009…

And this…is a little bit more realistic. :)                                                      I seriously want to make a paper hat now. You know…in all my free time. :)   I’ll keep you posted! Have a great one, xxoxo, e

 

 

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fortune cookies…why do we love them so?

A couple of years ago I decided that a fun way to give a little thanks in our packaging would be to include a fortune cookie. Not just ANY fortune cookie mind you…a custom erin smith art fortune cookie with one of my sayings of course! Well, as with so many good things..I was before my time with this idea. The retail and wholesale traffic just wasn’t up to task at the time and most all I ended up with was about 1,000 stale fortune cookies. Skip to last year when I decided it was once again time to give my fantastical fortune cookie of thanks idea another go. Well, in addition to getting a hand written card of thanks with your order, the fortune cookies went over extremely well. So well in fact..that ya’ll started calling and writing and BEGGING for fortune cookies. I’m a little bit slow in how I work in implementing some things…so I am happy to share that you can now purchase as many damn erin smith art fortune cookies as you like. :)

all the fortune cookies you want to offend your coworkers...

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i personally don’t think chocolate belongs in a shake..but if you have to…

Don’t get me wrong..i love me some chocolate. However, on this, National Chocolate Milk Shake Day…I have to admit that chocolate for me is about texture. I feel a chocolate shake just wastes that. SIMMER DOWN now! I’m not a hater..it’s just personal. This little milkshake bit I found is pretty hysterical though…I love that this guy is whipping it up obviously on the floor of his garage…

via Brett Carver •Pinterest     “MILKSHAKES FOR LARGER GROUPS i make milkshakes for large groups and this is the best way! use a paint mixer designed to work with a power drill and you have your self a giant blender. just just a 5 gallon cooler or a big pot(i will use the post next time because its not as deep. I normally use about a half or third of a gallon of milk for a gallon of ice cream depending on how melted the ice cream is. I usually try to let the ice cream sit out about an hour before i make them. Use a big spoon and scoop out the ice cream and add milk until you get the consistency you want. I add a little chocolate and you have something every one likes for really cheap! get creative and add some banana or what ever else you want to it.”

So. That’s one perspective anyway!

Now THIS….looks a little more up my alley. This comes from David at A Bachelor and his Grill. MMMMmmmmmm.

http://abachelorandhisgrill.com/2012/07/chocolate-pistachio-milkshake/.html

Rich & Creamy Chocolate Pistachio Milkshake

“July 19, 2012 By 

INGREDIENTS:
-3 LARGE Scoops Chocolate Ice Cream*
-1/3 Cup Milk (2%)
-1 Cup + 1 T Pistachio Nuts (chopped)
-2-3 Ice Cubes
-2 T Chocolate (shaved)
-1 T Lite Vegetable Oil
-1 Pinch Sea Salt

*Recommendation: Edy’s/Dreyer’s – Rich & Creamy Grand Chocolate Ice Cream – *Voted 2012 BEST Ice Cream by Cooking Light Magazine in 2 Blind Taste Tests & I Confirm… This Ice Cream is CHOCOLATE HEAVEN on a Spoon.

METHOD to the MADNESS:-In Food Processor combine 1 Cup Pistachio Nuts, Oil, & Sea Salt.-Pulse until all ingredients are mixed thoroughly & smooth… Making a Pistachio Butter.-Once Butter is Smooth… Add Ice Cream, Milk, & Ice Cubes into Food Processor, pulsing until all Ingredients are Mixed Thoroughly.-Pour into Glass & Garnish with 1 T Chopped Pistachio Nuts & Shavings of Chocolate.”

I think maybe a shot of vanilla vodka in the chocolate pistachio would make it perfect. hmmmmm. thoughts?!  Even better…the vanilla vodka in a vanilla milkshake would be perfect..for me!

 

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Happiness….happens

Every now and again I have to be reminded of the bigger picture. It’s not only easy, but expected I guess.., to get wrapped up in your own shit. I’ve been feeling a breakdown coming on for awhile now and I completely lost it this morning. For those of you that follow my social media bullshit I’m sure you saw it coming. :) Anyway. Breathing much easier now as tears are a good cleanse.

Today is “happiness happens day”. Really.  That’s a real day. Indoctrinated in 1998 by the secret society of happy people. yup. That’s real too.

 

fuck cancer

 

I received a message yesterday that gave me no doubts what HAPPINESS can be. I would like to dedicate my happiness today to my sweet Bunny, who was diagnosed last November with Stage 4 colon cancer..that had also spread to her liver and lymph nodes. I’ve never witnessed someone smiling and being gracious in the face of disaster…going on with her life, her work, her children and grandchild (yay! a baby!!).  She was given a clean bill of health yesterday..cancer free.  After 8 months of having her body pumped full of crazy shit and doctors and cutting and everything she never wanted to know about….she’s done. In addition to reminding everyone and their cousin’s brothers mother to get a colonoscopy over and over again….she shared her beautiful smile with everyone THE WHOLE DAMN TIME.

The American Cancer Society Guidelines recommend a colonoscopy at age 50…Bunny’s Doctor told her had she come in 5 years ago (5 years BEFORE the recommended age) that this probably all could have been avoided. yay…good times. Thanks for that doc. http://www.cancer.org/healthy/findcancerearly/cancerscreeningguidelines/american-cancer-society-guidelines-for-the-early-detection-of-cancer

long story short? Bunny says JUST GO GET THE DAMN TEST BITCHES. well…that was me, Bunny would never talk like that.

You’re awesome Bunny….apparently you knew the whole time you couldn’t get rid of the rest of us that easily!

Happiness Happens!!

 

 

 

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