Category Archives: i’m a mom

it takes a village

so. you know those neighbors that you never see? the ones that park in front of your house and block the mailbox so the mailman leaves nasty notes under the windshield wipers threatening to not deliver your mail? the ones that you have no idea what it is that they do other than what the [...]
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WHY is there a National Crab Stuffed Flounder Day??

This was my main fascination with this day. Why? do we really NEED a crab stuffed flounder day…seriously. WTF?  Well, let me tell you…there is no plausible explanation for why this exists..other than someone decreed it so. Someone that didn’t document anything because they didn’t want anyone, ever, to be able to let the flounder trail [...]
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Apocalypse

While tucking the 11 year old in last night I happened to glance over at his calendar..which is where I saw this: “What does that say?…Brains?” He replied with “yeah..you know, the Zombie Apocalypse.” I said “you mean the predicted Mayan Apocalypse.”..  “yeah..that’s what i said” On that note…Our Mayan Holiday cards are going quick! [...]
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congratulations graduate!

‘mom, why does that car have “senior” written across the back of it?’ —–because that person is graduating from high school and is celebrating and letting everyone know it. ‘how do you know? maybe it’s an old person that wants to warn the people behind them?’ —–um, yes…..
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from the hands of babes

i don’t think my children have ever actually ‘gotten’ me anything for Mother’s day. They’re still young, well, 10 & 12…so it’s not like they’re heading off to Macy’s and buying some prebasketed gift crap. They usually make some cards, some paper flowers..you know. They don’t get dragged to many outdoor art festivals any more.  [...]
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auction….again???!

Another live auction? Again? Already? yup. I don’t know why i put myself thru it but i do.   This one is a yearly fundraiser for our neighborhood community center. I think i’ve done…um, 4? 5? Don’t recall. I won’t have to be at the event and put myself thru the ‘live auction’ pain and [...]
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oh my bloody trampoline

having a trampoline has been an interesting endeavor, as i often tend to get on it with the boys…and have been the only one to wind up ‘wounded’ so far. recently a friend from Marty’s 3rd grade class came home with him after school and proceeded to bounce with both of my sons. you know [...]
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another season all wrapped up…or, don’t make me punch you in front of your kid…

what’s the deal with the psychotic sideline parents? Really…REALLY???  You have to be removed so you can ONLY sit in the outfield? You’re on the bleachers screaming instructions….FOR EVERY pitch?? You’re really going to get into an argument with the field umpires? Really???  You don’t notice that your kid cringes every time you open your [...]
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“it’s for the Childrrreeeenn! – or, the season of live auctions…

ah. the season of school fundraiser auctions is upon us. the premise here is to provide a fun evening for parents and get em’ liquored up enough to spend hundreds of dollars on something their own child drew/made/created…that probably would hit their recycling bin at home. This is obviously a dumbed down version, but in [...]
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UPS now provides rocketships for 1 hour deliveries from Atlanta to Australia!

My dog, as many generations before him, and after, LOATHES the UPS truck. If you ever called the studio and had to wait for us to continue a sentence because the dog was losing his mind..yeah…um, UPS. Not only do we have daily pick up, but we’re in a residential neighborhood…so UPS DROPS stuff to us [...]
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